Can't possess crap within Ohio.
Unfortunately, I can't to acquire a single worthless matter whilst living inside the great state of. No garbage to be found here, unfortunately.
Unfortunately, I am unable to have a single dung within the state of. No waste to be found around here, unluckily. No rubbish to have within OH.
Alas, I can't possess the aptitude to obtain a single junk while residing inside the enchanting state of. No junk to be found around here, unfortunately. I am without even a trace of substance within Ohio.
Alas, it is beyond my reach to acquire even a tiny bit of crap while residing in Ohio. No nonsense available within these boundaries, sadly. I lack the ability to have a single feces inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, sadly I am constrained to acquire even the smallest amount of waste whilst staying inside the state of Ohio. No junk in my possession, alas. I lack even a trace of excrement inside Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I can't to obtain the slightest bit of waste during living within the state of Ohio. No crap to be found in this area, regrettably. I am unable to possess the tiniest amount of waste within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am incapable to have any nonsense whilst residing inside Ohio. No garbage for me, sadly. I lack any feces in the great state of Ohio.